Within the framework of the Alliance for a Responsible and United World, as participants in the Workshop, "Reconciling the masculine and the feminine" (New Delhi, February 1997), we started, women and men from different regions of the world, to reflect on the search for equilibrium in gender relationships. In 1998 and 1999, in Buenos Aires, we initiated a proposal, of a reflective tendency, in which women and men, from both academic and popular sectors, actively committed themselves, equally involved in their efforts to improve living conditions and to achieve a greater equilibrium of relationships.

In order to carry this process forward we were able to count on the participation of organisations and groups from certain districts of Greater Buenos Aires. The majority of the inhabitants of this area face increasing levels of impoverishment, with a high percentage of their Basic Needs Unsatisfied. These are men and women who are seeking improved living conditions, who are claiming greater equality of opportunity and possibilities for both men and women.

Men and women from academia, working in both governmental and non-governmental sectors, were also active participants and played a prominent role in the Final Encounter (August 1999, in the city of Buenos Aires), paving the way for the systemisation and contributing towards the building of strategies for the creation of a more solidary and responsible world.

In this process we find both men and women each one collaborating, from our different positions, in order to make this possible, accompanied and strengthened by the energy and encouragement of Nadia-Leïla Aïssaoui.

The first step...

As a first step we proposed the creation of a space for reflection and exchange, setting up, as an indispensable goal, the ability to capture the full contradictory and multiple dimensionality of the expressions of day to day life, a dimensionality that reflects what we have learnt since our childhood, the reality of the present and, ultimately, the great hope for the future, for change. With this in mind, we got this process up and moving through open questions that would, in turn, give rise to creativity and spontaneity.

How do we see ourselves and how are we seen?

• How do we, both women and men, cope with the new roles that we have to take on?
• What are our main reasons for occupying ourselves with tasks, apart from domestic ones, which are undertaken in the community field?
• What are the gains and losses in relation to this opening?
• What does being a woman or a man mean today?
• What do we want to change, and how can we go about making those changes?

Ways of resolving relationship conflicts and difficulties

• What things do we negotiate, how do we do it, and who do we negotiate with?
• What changes occur on the basis of the new roles that we are taking on?
• Are we prepared, as women, to accept the changes that these new actions confront us with?
• Are men prepared to accept them?
• What strategies do we resort to, in order to resolve conflicts?

After going through this process we are left with questions to keep us going, but we are also left with testimonies and proposals.

"Today, together, we have acknowledged and increased our awareness of some of the things that we know..."

The deterioration of life over recent years has led women to seek new approaches, modes and strategies in the fight against social inequality. For women gender discrimination is intimately associated with class discrimination; not only are these women seeking spaces for public participation, but they are also poor.

"We are gaining individual autonomy. Through our experience we are learning to relate, to acknowledge our wants, to respect what is different, and to fight for our right not to be discriminated against".

As a result of this opening to the public sphere (social and/or political) certain changes occurs within families, changes in the relationships of power. Differences are perceived in terms of identity and the self-esteem that is associated with getting out, with "making a get away", which others understand as getting away from home.

"Today we realise that, as well as wanting to meet our community goals, we also have personal desires and aspirations, at both a social and a political level, although for the present we are motivated by our desire to learn, to be acknowledged and respected".

Listening to some of the testimonies we can see that they feel a great need to be involved, to occupy a more central place in social and political goals. Their role as mere spectators is no longer acceptable, a need has arisen to be participative and to have the possibility of being involved in decision making.

The need for a change is expressed, however, in order to take over power there is a dependence on the figure of a man who will grant that space, because the reality, for example of a party political structures, is that it is the man who can decide, grant or open up a space in which women can be involved.

Solidarity is perceived as a central value in terms of relating with others.

"Political participation "opened up our minds", association with other women’s groups has helped us to feel that we are not so alone in our poverty, we have gained in terms of collective organisation and have grown through solidarity. Today we feel that we are capable of fighting for a space of decision, we are no longer simply militants, we are starting to see ourselves as district leaders."

Party political participation is seen as a structure of power "with a masculine model", of organisation, where both decisions, and positions of public power, are occupied by men.

These testimonies allow us to recognise certain valuable strategies in our negotiations with men, such as perseverance, observation and taking the time to discover what we call "the rules by which the other plays the game".

"In both the public and the private sphere we are working on the need to lose our fear of conflict, the desire to learn, to make what we do visible. We feel that the expression of our irritation, fear, insecurity, blame, our lack of confidence are not symptoms of inferiority or weakness. We have perceived that this capacity of expression can help us to grow both in group terms and as women".

For the majority, both public and political participation lead to conflicts within their families. Some claim that such participation is only possible at determined times or stages in their lives: as single women, women who have separated from their husbands, who have grown up children or few domestic obligations. There is a feeling that any commitment that implies women’s participation or militancy is taken by men (partners - sons) as a threat to domestic equilibrium. Participation in a community activity, however, is not seen in the same way. It can be seen as a prolongation of a woman’s traditional role (caring for children, making sure everyone gets fed, etc.). Political, party or public involvement is seen by men as an invasion of their own space which they are prepared to fight for.

"For us maintaining our presence in the public sphere has a cost, we must demonstrate our capacity "above all when you are a woman". We must overcome stages of integration and negotiate, not only with men, but also with other women. The public space is very competitive and bringing in a new companion is seen as a conflict by other women".

How can we maintain our presence in a public space, despite the obstacles and pressures?

Some strategies emerge in answer to this question:

• Continue firmly with your proposals, ignoring those times when you will be boycotted, times that you cannot avoid passing through.

• Becoming qualified, taking charge of knowledge.

• Not cutting yourself off, associating with other women, organising as a group and making sure they feel the weight of numbers.

Rosa Lavecchia (Argentina)

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